Finding Meaning Through Suffering
When people who are struggling or suffering, particularly young people, want to talk about the difficulties in their lives, it can be challenging to know what to say, especially when what they are enduring is outside our own experiences. The Sweethearts & Heroes approach to working through these conversations is to approach them from a place of understanding, compassion, and wisdom.
Our philosophy aligns with a deep-rooted perspective that acknowledges suffering as a powerful force for growth and meaning. As the ancient saying goes, “…rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame.” To help someone navigate their struggles, we must first outline these principles.
Suffering through something produces great endurance.
That endurance produces character (both good and bad).
Good character produces HOPE for others.
It’s difficult to tell a young person to “rejoice” in their suffering. You must approach this from a retrospective perspective, reviewing past events and identifying the good and meaning that has resulted from one’s suffering.
The Danger of Meaninglessness
G.K. Chesterton once said, “Meaninglessness does not come from being weary of pain. Meaninglessness comes from being weary of pleasure.” In other words, suffering does not drain us. What drains us is the lack of purpose or meaning in our lives. Without a reason to push forward, even the most pleasurable experiences lose their joy. Conversely, when we attach meaning to our struggles, even the most challenging moments can fuel our growth and produce HOPE for others.
Rick’s story is a testament to this truth. He transformed the adversity and challenges he endured into a source of inspiration and guidance for others. Along his journey, he has become a beacon of light to those who feel at their wit’s end. This has given others strength, and Rick has attained personal growth through his perseverance, something that would have never occurred if he hadn’t chosen to rejoice in the suffering he endured.
The philosopher Viktor Frankl, a Holocaust survivor and renowned psychiatrist, is another leading example of choosing to rejoice in suffering to produce HOPE. Frankl also identified meaning as something we find and create through our struggles.
Frankl endured unimaginable suffering as a prisoner in Nazi concentration camps, where he lost his wife, family, and nearly everything he held dear. In the face of such brutality, he observed that those who survived were often the ones who found meaning even in the depths of suffering. From this, he developed logotherapy, a psychological approach centered on the idea that our primary drive in life is not pleasure (as Freud suggested) or power (as Adler proposed) but meaning.
Frankl believed that even in the worst circumstances, we retain the freedom to choose our response. He famously wrote, “Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms—to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.” This perspective reinforces the idea that suffering itself does not destroy us. What destroys us is the loss of purpose. When we help young people see that their struggles can be a source of strength and growth, we empower them to shift their perspective, reclaim their inner freedom, and find purpose even in the most difficult moments. Through meaning, suffering becomes more than just pain—it becomes a pathway to HOPE.
The Freedom to Choose Our Meaning
Meaning is often considered an abstract, indefinable quality of life. However, we believe it can be easily directed through three statements.
Meaning is the thing you believe everyone on the planet should know—it is a truth that burns in your heart.
Meaning must be comprised of the value we bring to the world.
This value establishes our identity both in and to the world.
Meaning is a deeply personal and uniquely individual pursuit, but we must recognize that we have the freedom and responsibility to pursue this meaning. We are not just passive observers of our lives; we must shape our purpose.
William James, the philosopher who popularized pragmatism (a way of thinking that emphasizes practical results), believed that free will was necessary for living a meaningful life. James saw free will as a psychological reality that people experience when making choices, especially in moments of genuine deliberation. We all have the option to succumb to our suffering or use it as a stepping-stone toward something more significant.
A strong, positive identity built on the value we bring to the world through the message we must share is incredibly powerful. When we see ourselves as people who bring value to others, it becomes almost impossible to give up. A self-image built on contribution and purpose fosters resilience and motivation. We should all strive not just to survive hardships but to emerge from them stronger and with something meaningful to offer the world.
Bringing It All Together
At Sweethearts & Heroes, we believe that no one should feel alone in their suffering. The most powerful way to help young people navigate their struggles is not to dismiss their pain or offer hollow reassurances but to guide them toward finding meaning in what they’ve endured. We do this by:
Listening with Compassion – True support begins with presence. We must meet them where they are, validating their pain and offering understanding without rushing to fix or explain it away.
Helping Them Reframe Their Struggles – Suffering is not the end of the road but the beginning of a transformation. By highlighting the endurance they have developed, the character they have built, and the hope they can offer others, we help them reclaim their narrative.
Empowering Them to Choose Meaning – Meaning is not something we wait to find—it is something we create. By helping young people discover the truth that burns in their hearts, the value they bring to the world, and the identity they shape through their struggles, we give them a reason to keep moving forward.
The ultimate question is not why we suffer but what we do with that suffering. Will we let it define us or use it to fuel our purpose? When young people learn that even in their darkest moments, they have the freedom to choose their response, they gain the most powerful tool of all—HOPE. And with HOPE, no struggle is ever in vain.